We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
