I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
