you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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