Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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