He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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