My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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