I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
