He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
