I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Terrible idea I love it
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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