I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
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