I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
