Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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