ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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