Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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