So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
17 year olds will be the death of me.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
