covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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