If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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