Don't you send me to vm
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
