Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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