the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
