plz talk dirty to me
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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