I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
