when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
