he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
