I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize