yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
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