You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize