Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
