no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
