I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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