oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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