I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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