I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
