So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
