none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
