Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
either way he was missing a nipple.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
