don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
