You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
