For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
