babies were throwing up all over the place
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
