Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
