he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
