ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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