Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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