My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
