How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Randomize
