He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
