I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize