if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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