I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I have demons in me.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
