I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
