i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
