your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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