i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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