Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Why can't burritos get me drunk
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
