i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
They have beer where we have blood.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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