I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
