I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
