i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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