Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
