i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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